Not the Devil at All

Father Miguel walked through the church. His church, it had been for years now.

He heard the rumbling again. From underneath somewhere, deep down. The first time he had thought it was an earthquake, but no one had noticed anything outside the church. It was under him, straight down. It worried him.

Another rumble. Stronger this time, the walls shook, a candle fell on the floor. Could it be… the Devil? Was he coming for him? God knew he had sinned, horrible sins hard to forgive. He had become a priest to control his urges, but it had only made it worse. Now he was surrounded by them every day, so cute and innocent.

The shaking increased. The walls shook, the floor, everything. He backed up towards the door. A crack opened in the floor.

A giant hand broke through the big rocks. The priest held his cross out, prayed out loud. A head came up. It was no devil. It was a god damned troll.


A wind of rotten breath almost blew him off his feet. The troll came up from its hole, roared again. Father Miguel ran out the door. His cross and prayers had no effect on this.

The troll broke through the solid door as if it was made of carton. Father Miguel fell over. The troll grabbed him, carried him back to the church. Jumped into the hole he’d come from with the screaming priest in its hands.

All it ever wanted was a boyfriend. Nothing in the world would take that away now.

Natural Enemy


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