I went on a date with a woman from the planet Quarack. It was going okay. I was having an orange juice, she was biting the heads off pineapples, as they do. It was all good, except I don’t think her second head was into me.
I got the feeling that after the date the second head was going to say, “You can do better.”
And the first head, Susan, would say, “Oh but he’s really nice.”
And the second head, Rachel, would say, “You don’t need really nice right now. You need a bit of cock.”
While I do have one of those, I like to think I’m more than that. I’m not like a mollusc, which is mostly cock. I have arms, and legs, and a mostly functioning head. I have an anus, but I’m more than that. Unlike a clam, which is mostly anus. And I’m not…
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